See that picture? That's a small portion of the Boitano Mob. That picture was taken October 7, 2006. We went to a winery that day to celebrate Kori's birthday. Nick's mom had died just 2 weeks before. That had to be one of the most horrible times of my life. Those smiles come from many, many bottles of wine. I had no idea what the future was about to hold. I love that I have this picture (thank you Kori). Actually, it's quite funny. I'm not pregnant in that picture....yet. How many poor kids can be told the exact time of their conception? Um...Ava can. Yeah, you guessed it. It was the wine! That's the honest to God truth. Ava, Ava, Ava. I can't begin to imagine what my life would be without you sweet girl. We can skip over the details, but I can very vividly remember the intro scene to Look Who's Talking playing in my mind. 23 days from the time this picture was taken I had 100% confirmation that a baby existed. There was never supposed to be a second baby. I had Lauren. My world revolved around her and there was no way I could love another human as much as I loved her. Time passed and as it did this little bun in the oven and I were getting well aquainted. For the next 7 months (yes months) this baby made me as sick as a dog...day and night. I remember laying in bed feeling like crap watching the Cardinals win the world series, falling asleep at 9:00 on New Years Eve.....my fun had come to a complete stop. Lauren wasn't to fond of this baby either. She was about to get knocked off her pedestal and she wasn't happy about it. We tried to get her excited. She was there for the ultrasound when we found out we were having a girl and she got to make the phone calls telling people the news. That excitement faded....quickly. Before I knew it July 3rd was quickly approaching. Natalie, Layla, Elizabeth....this kid needed a name. Oh yeah...Ava. I liked that name. I was once friends with a lady named Ava Lorraine who was a nurse at Children's Hospital. She was so nice. I have no clue whatever happened to her but that name wouldn't leave my head. So Ava, Ava Jewel it is. I begged and pleaded with my doctor to enduce labor. I WAS DONE! No deal. She compromised and told me if I hadn't gone into labor by the end of June she would schedule and inductioin. WooHoo! A whole 3 days early. Sign me up. 7:30am on June 30th, 2007 I checked myself into Missouri Baptist. I was ready to get the show on the road. The nurses came in, started the usual procedure...blah, blah, blah. It was a slow go in the beginning and then Boom! Epidural please. Funny how you can be so eager for someone to shove a needle in your spine. And then we were smooth sailing. My parents arrived with Lauren mid afternoon. She thought it was great. All the nurses made over her and gave her like a million cups of chipped ice. The clock kept ticking and no baby. Nick took Lauren out of the room for a while and I remember laying in the bed half asleep and seeing my dad sitting next to me....just waiting....love that man. Well apparently action started and I became fully focused. Holy broken epidural Batman! I come from a family of hospital oriented people. If there's one thing I know it's "Do not whine". So I didn't. I didn't say a word. I could take it...kind of. Nick and Lauren went down to get dinner. My mom was in the room with me. And as any good mother would know, she knew something was wrong. She kept asking me if she should go and get a nurse. I repeatedly told her no. They would come check. As big of a baby as I can be at times, I can suck up pain pretty well. I wasn't crying...I swear, but I could feel a tear run down my cheek. Next thing I knew my mother was gone and nurses came in. She said "sweetheart, why didn't you call for me? are you trying to have this baby on your own?" It seemed like a matter of minutes....3 pushes and there she was. All 7lbs, 4oz, 20-1/2" of perfection. And my God this kid had a set of lungs on her. And just like you see on tv, I was handed a baby (covered in all that funkyness) and kissed her sweet little face, told her I loved her and Happy Birthday. They took her across the room where I watched the nicest nurse help Lauren give her baby sister a bath. And then she was all mine, still screaming, but she was mine. Instant love, unspeakable love. There's nothing like holding your own baby. I shared her for a bit with Nick, Lauren, my parents and my loyal best friend Kim that waited outside the door. And all this time she was still screaming. I gave her a bottle....the kid was starving! I miss that screaming sometimes. The sleepless nights, the diaperbag, the carseat that weighed a thousand pounds, washing bottles. My baby's about to be 5 on Saturday. Five years old....that's not a baby anymore. I'm not handling this well. This is going by way to fast. The constant need for me is fading. I wish I could freeze her at 4 years old. She loves me, hell she adores me. She runs to me when I come home from work and kisses me and tells me how much she misses me and just wants "tomorrow to be a mommy day". Ugh... Ava I love you so much. You make me laugh so hard. I love that you quote every line from The Wizard of Oz, you are still in love with Michael Jackson, you have to take your baby doll with you every place you go, you only want to wear dresses and fancy shoes, you climb into my bed almost every night and wrap those little hands around my neck and just want to lay close to me. But 5 already? I love you every second of everyday. You light up my life little lady. I can't wait until next week when I show you the ocean for the first time and watch you play in the sand. We'll have picnics and go for long walks on the beach. I love you so much Ava Jewel. Happy Happy Birthday my sweet doll. "I love you to the moon (kiss, kiss) and back".
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