Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Wow....That went fast.

My Lauren turns 10 this week.  TEN....double digits.  Where in the world did the time go?  Ten is more baby.  I've been at this parenting gig for 10 whole  Bear with me for a bit while I get a little sappy.  Let's rewind for a bit.  July 2, 2001...pregnancy test = positive.  If I only knew then what I know now.  This kid was loved from day one.  Nick and I were thrilled, my parents and his were over the moon...especially his mother.  All my sweet mother in law ever wanted was a little girl to play with.  When we found out we were having a girl we bought a card and a bib that said "Grandma's Little Girl".  We put the card in a blue envelope and the bib in a blue bag.  (this is one of those moments that I'll remember every detail of for the rest of my life).  She was expecting us for dinner.  We walked in and she was standing at the top of the stairs.  We handed her the gift and she smiled and said "oh good, another boy".  It was sincere.  She would have loved this child regardless.  When she opened the gift and saw that it was really a girl she broke into tears and fell to her knees and said "oh my god, oh my god.  i can't believe it.  is it really true?".  She was beyond thrilled.  (Nick's mom passed away when Lauren was 4-1/2 years old.  She loved her so much.  They were shopping buds and I'm so thankful that they spend so much time together.  She was truly the greatest mother in law any girl could ever ask for).  Any who....the waiting game began.  The house began to overflow with pink decor.  Nick had to install a double rack in the closet to make room for all the clothes this girl had acquired.  Onto bigger tasks....she needed a name.  #1. Natalie Rose  #2.  Caroline Elaine  #3. Cara Jane  #4. Lauren Nichole.  Well obviously #4 was the winner.  Fall and winter passed....tic toc, tic toc.  February 10th was her baby shower.  Probably should have added on a wing to the house at that point (who knew a baby needed all these things).  I worked all the way up to my due date.  March 1st I went to my scheduled doctors appointment.  My due date wasn't until March 10th (my great grandma...ole ma's....birthday).  Slight change in plans.  Elevated blood pressure and pre eclampsia speed up the waiting game.  Off to Barnes Jewish we went.  They refused to let me walk so Nick had to push me through the parking garage and the hospital in a wheelchair.  I felt like a complete idiot.  After a few hours they decided I wasn't going home and labor would be induced.  So there we sat and waited.  Nick fell asleep.  I on the other hand was hooked up to every freaking wire in the room and a blood pressure cuff that went off every 2 seconds (it was probably more like every 20 minutes but never the less it was annoying). sleep for the mother (not much has changed).  6AM....whoa...what the hell was that????  Um yeah....a contractions.  I'm pretty sure that got intense for a while.  I was never so happy to see a man with a needle in my life.  The rest of the day was pretty normal.  And then in one moment everything changed.  I mean EVERYTHING.  At 6:22 pm a beautiful baby girl was born.  (you know when you hear people say they have a realization of life...I had it....never had it again since)  I heard her cry.  Reality smacked me right in the face.  I remember thinking "Wow....that's my baby.  That's MY baby".  Instant love.  Truly a love that you've never felt before a day in your life....indescribable.  Pure, honest, unconditional, ever lasting love.  7lbs, 4oz, 20-1/2" of perfection.  I held her, I kissed her, I told her I loved her and then they took her away to the nursery.  Her temp was low and she had to go in the "baby warmer".  And you know what....everyone went with her.  Nick, my parents, his parents, my brother and sister in law.  There I was all alone.  It was clear who'd stolen my spotlight.  Never the less she was perfect.  I remember laying in the hospital bed waiting, waiting, waiting for someone to bring her to me.  I was beyond tired.  I could barely keep my eyes open.  I just wanted to lay my head down and go to sleep.  Around 11PM Lauren's baby nurse (Mary) carried her in and asked if I wanted to hold her or if I was to tired.  I said I wanted her and she wheeled her over to me and placed her in my arms. this is what it feels like.  I was a mom.  I real mom.  Amazing.  The next day I think every single family member and friend packed my room to get a view of Lauren.  She was pretty popular.  She slept with us in the room that next night and we played the roll of the typical new parents who sat and watched her sleep to make sure she was breathing.  The following day we brought her home.  Nick's parents and my parents were waiting at our house.  My dad had decorated the house and the front yard announcing to the world that she had arrived.  We all ate dinner and then our first dose of reality set in.....our parents left to go home.  WTH?  We were on our own.  Just the 3 of us.  I laid on the couch that evening with her lying on my chest.  I remember that night The Cosby Show debuted on Nick at Night.  Laughing at Bill Cosby and holding my baby....what could have been better that first night?  And here we are 10 years later.  Unbelievable.  Lauren Nichole....I love you so, so much.  I'm so thankful everyday to be your mom.  You make me laugh, cry, keep me on my toes, scare me, entertain me, love me and teach me.  You're perfect and I'm so glad you're mine.  Happy 10th Birthday Baby Doll.....I'll love you forever. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Oops I did it again.

When Lauren was a baby I made the mistake of letting her sleep in our room. It started with the bassinet.  When she out grew that I actually thought it was a good idea to mover her baby bed in our room.  I don't know what I was thinking, actually I do know.  I thought she was going to stop breathing or something.  Whatever the reason....I did it.  By the time she was a year old she'd made herself quite comfortable sleeping between myself and the husband.  I don't know if it was working mother guilt or what but I felt that I had at least spent time with her (even if we were asleep) if she laid next to me. continued.  Eventually we started running out of room.  She fell in love with this sweet little toddler bed we saw in Pottery Barn and I was suckered in.....$500 later (ok, that was including bedding....stupid I know).  She slept in that bed for the grand total of 3 hours.  Back to the drawing board.  We went out and bought her a "big girl bed".  That lasted, NOT.  For the next few years (I know this is really, really bad) Nick enjoyed his pretty little girls room.  Now from time to time we tried putting her in her room.  I'm not saying I gave it 100%....obviously not.  Then BOOM...along came Ava and I swore that I would never, ever, ever, ever start that bad habit again.  I was successful.  The child learned to lay down in her own bed and fall asleep.  We moved her to a toddler bed....she stayed in it.   We moved her to the big girl bed.....fantastic!  Of all the things this little lady gives me trouble on sleeping in her own bed has never been one.  That is until now.  Last week when she was sick I got really, really worried about her.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I guess I wanted to make sure she was breathing ok.  The doctor freaked me out.  Now that things have returned to normal returning to her bed isn't going so well.  Last night she got a free pass and ended up sleeping with me again.  Who's fault is this?  I'm pretty sure it's mine.  She's so cute, and little, and she loves me, and she misses me, and everyday that goes by she's a whole day older and pretty soon my baby isn't going to be a baby anymore.'s me.  It's me.  Now what?  Now I've created a little monster that doesn't want to sleep in her bed anymore.  OY.  I'm just going to pretend that I'm going to put her in her own bed tonight and she'll stay there and this will be one happy household.  Cross your fingers people.